Magic Goat Reads the News!


Normally, the news doesn't really affect me. I have never seen a news story on what I'm going to eat for dinner tomorrow, or a breaking headline revealing that I'm out of shampoo. But just recently I saw an article that could have a major impact on my life, and the life of everyone else in our country.


The article spoke of a constitutional amendment which several law-makers are trying to pass. This amendment would allow anyone who has been a U.S. citizen for at least 20 years to become president of the United States, thus eliminating the "natural born" clause currently found in the constitution.
While the article only mentions Arnold Schwarzenegger, I quickly thought of all the other wonderful people who could now become the leader of our great country. Below is a list of people who were not born in this country, but have become citizens and could now become President if this amendment passes.


Hit recording artist...
WILLIAM SHATNER

FIRST ACT IN OFFICE:
Funds government research to create technology which allows him to be "beamed" all across the country by Secretary of State Scotty. Also adds to his cabinet: The Department of Guys Who Live in their Parents Basements and Speak Klingon.


Jeopardy smart-alex...
ALEX TREBEK

(eligible in 2018)


FIRST ACT IN OFFICE:
Orders U.S. Mint to change the text printed on all currency to
"What is E Pluribus Unum." Vice President Pat Sajak is not ammused.



The Artist Formerly Known as Chewbacca...
PETER MAYHEW

(eligible in 2025)


FIRST ACT IN OFFICE:
Attempts to lower taxes, pay off nation debt, boost funding for education, and establish world peace, however, no one can understand a word he says.




Amnesia victim...
JIM CARREY

(eligible in 2024)


FIRST ACT IN OFFICE:
Ends every press conference by hitting himself in the face with a pie. Constantly refers to Canada as "Who-ville".



Perennial Disney Animation Voice...
ANGELA LANSBURY

FIRST ACT IN OFFICE:
Creates new reality television drama, starring herself as president, titled: "Executive Pardon, she wrote."



Safe from harsh ridicule because he has Parkinson’s Disease...
MICHAEL J. FOX

(eligible in 2022)


FIRST ACT IN OFFICE:
In an effort to prevent accidents involving the space-time continuum, the national speed limit is set to 87 miles per hour.