Conversations with an Internet Con-Man!
I'm sure most people have received an email similar to the one that started all this. Some unknown foreign guy who says he's really important needs your help to claim his 50 million dollars. Sounds like a normal everyday activity. After receiving a few of these emails, I decided to see how far I could get with one of these people without ever calling, faxing, or sending money while at the same time being as obnoxious as possible. What follows in the result of a month-long exchange with one of these con men.
Here is the letter that started it all. I cut out the boring parts, but saved the excellent grammar.
From: "SALATU MUSTAPHA"
Subject: cooperation
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL - My dear Friend, I am highly compelled upon strict recommendation, to write you this very urgent and confidential letter.I do hope my letter will not embarrass you since I had no previous correspondence with you.I hope this mail will not come to you as a surprise. I am sending this proposal with due sense of humanity, responsibility and with few awareness that you will give it a sympathetic attention. I regreet the inconvenience it may cause you base on the condition that we have not before meet. I am Mrs. Salatu Mustapha, the wife of Al Mustapha, personal assistant to the Late head of state of Federal Republic of Nigeria - General Sani Abacha. I am contacting you in view of the fact that we will be of great assistance to each other like wise developing a cordial relationship...
Fortunately, Al Mustapha my Husband has Six million and eight hundred thousand United States Dollars(US$6.8 million) cash, which he intended to use for investment purposes overseas...
Bearing in mind that your assistance is needed to transfer this fund, we propose a commission of 15%(Fifteen Percent) of the total sum to you for the expected services and assistance. On your positive consent, I shall expect you to contact me urgently to enable us discuss about this.Your urgent response is highly needed. I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinarily confidential, while I await your prompt response.
Best regards,
MRS. SALATU AL MUSTAPHA
Subject: cooperation
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL - My dear Friend, I am highly compelled upon strict recommendation, to write you this very urgent and confidential letter.I do hope my letter will not embarrass you since I had no previous correspondence with you.I hope this mail will not come to you as a surprise. I am sending this proposal with due sense of humanity, responsibility and with few awareness that you will give it a sympathetic attention. I regreet the inconvenience it may cause you base on the condition that we have not before meet. I am Mrs. Salatu Mustapha, the wife of Al Mustapha, personal assistant to the Late head of state of Federal Republic of Nigeria - General Sani Abacha. I am contacting you in view of the fact that we will be of great assistance to each other like wise developing a cordial relationship...
Fortunately, Al Mustapha my Husband has Six million and eight hundred thousand United States Dollars(US$6.8 million) cash, which he intended to use for investment purposes overseas...
Bearing in mind that your assistance is needed to transfer this fund, we propose a commission of 15%(Fifteen Percent) of the total sum to you for the expected services and assistance. On your positive consent, I shall expect you to contact me urgently to enable us discuss about this.Your urgent response is highly needed. I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinarily confidential, while I await your prompt response.
Best regards,
MRS. SALATU AL MUSTAPHA
Immediately, I was struck with the authors brilliant command of the English language, having used such phrases as...
"I am contacting you in view of the fact that we will be of great assistance
to each other like wise developing a cordial relationship"
"I regreet the inconvenience it may cause you base on the condition that we have
not before meet."
"On your positive consent, I shall expect you to contact me urgently to enable us
discuss about this."
Such brilliance set me at ease, and with the chance to make a cool million, I decided to respond. Under the name Glenn Kolowski, I sent my response, being careful to word it in the same flawless English with which my new pen pal was familiar.
From: "glenn kolowski"
Subject: Re: cooperation
Dear Mrs. Salatu Mustapha
Your email DID come as surprise to me, as we had never had chance to experience some talking before this. I am glad that you were able to contact me however. It seems like you are in much trouble and I would be happy to help you out however I can. I don't think they government are being fair to you or husband. Please let me know what I can do to assist you. I'm happy to help. Please let me know what to do.
Thanks
-glenn
Subject: Re: cooperation
Dear Mrs. Salatu Mustapha
Your email DID come as surprise to me, as we had never had chance to experience some talking before this. I am glad that you were able to contact me however. It seems like you are in much trouble and I would be happy to help you out however I can. I don't think they government are being fair to you or husband. Please let me know what I can do to assist you. I'm happy to help. Please let me know what to do.
Thanks
-glenn