Conversations with an Internet Con-Man!
I sent my response quickly. I was curious to see just how stupid I could appear, while still sounding credible.
From: "glenn kolowski"
Subject: Re: detailed procedure/pls. reply here
Salatu,
I am glad you I was chosen to help you with your problems. I hope that I will be able to assist your family as much as I can. I have always wanted to visit London, so why don't you have the shipment sent there. I'm hoping I can pick up one of those hard rock cafe shirts while I am there. That's a big tourist tradition here in the United States.
Thank you for sending me a picture of your family. That really makes me feel more comfortable about this. It's nice to know who I am working with. I'd love to know the names of your family members and who they are in the picture. Can you send that to me? I wanted to send you a picture of my family so that we can get to know each other a little better, but my sister is photophobic, so we can't take family pictures. Instead, I have sent you this picture of a pineapple. I love pineapples. Do they have pineapples where you live?
I have just moved to a new apartment, and haven't had the phone hooked up yet, so I don't know my phone number, but I am always checking my email at the local library, so feel free to continue emailing me. Also, please let me know what I need to do next to help your family. I don't know too much about these types of things, it all sounds so complicated. I hope that you can eventually get your money.
Once, I got a rebate check from some toothpaste that I bought, but I moved and they delivered it to the post office and I had to go pick it up and sign for it and everything, I guess that's kind of like what you are going through. Are you going to be moving here to the United States? If so, there are some empty apartments next to mine that you might like. I'm happy to help with whatever I can.
your friend,
-glenn
Subject: Re: detailed procedure/pls. reply here
Salatu,
I am glad you I was chosen to help you with your problems. I hope that I will be able to assist your family as much as I can. I have always wanted to visit London, so why don't you have the shipment sent there. I'm hoping I can pick up one of those hard rock cafe shirts while I am there. That's a big tourist tradition here in the United States.
Thank you for sending me a picture of your family. That really makes me feel more comfortable about this. It's nice to know who I am working with. I'd love to know the names of your family members and who they are in the picture. Can you send that to me? I wanted to send you a picture of my family so that we can get to know each other a little better, but my sister is photophobic, so we can't take family pictures. Instead, I have sent you this picture of a pineapple. I love pineapples. Do they have pineapples where you live?
I have just moved to a new apartment, and haven't had the phone hooked up yet, so I don't know my phone number, but I am always checking my email at the local library, so feel free to continue emailing me. Also, please let me know what I need to do next to help your family. I don't know too much about these types of things, it all sounds so complicated. I hope that you can eventually get your money.
Once, I got a rebate check from some toothpaste that I bought, but I moved and they delivered it to the post office and I had to go pick it up and sign for it and everything, I guess that's kind of like what you are going through. Are you going to be moving here to the United States? If so, there are some empty apartments next to mine that you might like. I'm happy to help with whatever I can.
your friend,
-glenn
The attached pineapple photo...
I get a lot of strange emails, but as of yet, no one has sent me a picture of a pineapple for no apparent reason. I truly didn't expect to get a response after that. I didn't think he (or she) would trust anyone that sent a picture of a pineapple. How wrong I was...
In almost no time at all, I received this response:
I love this email for a few reasons. First, because he spelled my name as "Gleen". I was determined to use that again. Second, I loved the email because of Salatu's invention of the word "airliftment". Wow! He sounds so educated! Since I didn't expect any response, it took a few days for me to check my email again. When I did, this is what I found...
From: "salatu muatapha"
Subject: Re: detailed procedure/pls. reply here
Dear Gleen,
Thanks for your response as my family is really delighted. Tomorrow we shall proceed with the arrangment of the documents for possibly airliftment. Please we want you to confirm the earliest time you think you can arrive london as there is the need for immediate pickup as soon as the fund leaves. Meanwhile you can call ibru on his direct number 234-1-4700842 so further clarification.
regards,
SALATU MUSTAPHA
Subject: Re: detailed procedure/pls. reply here
Dear Gleen,
Thanks for your response as my family is really delighted. Tomorrow we shall proceed with the arrangment of the documents for possibly airliftment. Please we want you to confirm the earliest time you think you can arrive london as there is the need for immediate pickup as soon as the fund leaves. Meanwhile you can call ibru on his direct number 234-1-4700842 so further clarification.
regards,
SALATU MUSTAPHA
I love this email for a few reasons. First, because he spelled my name as "Gleen". I was determined to use that again. Second, I loved the email because of Salatu's invention of the word "airliftment". Wow! He sounds so educated! Since I didn't expect any response, it took a few days for me to check my email again. When I did, this is what I found...
From: "salatu2001"
Subject: Re: Re: cooperation
DEAR GLEEN,
PLEASE LET
US KNOW YOUR POSITION ON THIS AS WE ARE YET TO HEAR FROM YOU AFTER THE MY LAST
MAIL TO YOU. PLEASE CONFIRM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE KNOW THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE.
REGARDS
SALATU
Apparently, Salatu was worried that Gleen had developed cold feet. The
ALL-CAPS email only heightened the urgency. I quickly crafted a reply to set
Salatu's mind at ease...